Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
