Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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