I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
