I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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