I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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