Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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