At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
