Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
