that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Sober January is a disaster.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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