I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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