where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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