its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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