I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
