Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
