oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
