Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize