this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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