There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
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Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
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okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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