I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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