Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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