I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
