Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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