I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
