You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
