Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
