are you still at the devil's house?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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