it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
