yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
