i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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