somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
