I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
