yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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