If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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