it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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