At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
