Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
