Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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