the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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