Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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