i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
