You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
