were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I forget how to act sober
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
