And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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