Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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