Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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