I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Someone signed my nipple.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize