So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
