FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So much Jack, so little girl.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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