Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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