I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
