All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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