the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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