Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
