You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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