not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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