No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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