I want to walk on stilts...naked
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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