how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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