You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
