at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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